I can never realize who are hoodwinked. That is the dilemma of me. I think I am good so others are, but oh man I am always wrong. Mind me always. Then I have to suffer the consequences. I said to myself “Hey girl! Get out of the fantasy!”
But stupid me I guess I was waiting for another slap from the society on my face. And yes I did get it and it was very hard got mark on my soul forever. Well that was something which made me lose my health very badly, I lost all my attention in my studies and in this way I did bad believe me very bad in exams. But who care? Everyone is happy so what is the big deal. What if I am hurt I guess it does not matter anymore?
“I have learned now that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.”
Yes I was silent. Yes I was hurt. And this thing was only known to me and my pillow, because it got my tears as a secret. I felt pain which I indescribable. Though no one can hurt you without your consent and yes again my friendly nature provide the passage to hurt me. But I did learn a lesson a good lesson or u may say the lesson of my whole life. C.JoyBell C. says and I guess depicts well that:
“Pain is a pesky part of being human; I’ve learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can’t be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.”
People are so selfish, they can hurt you and they all will let you lose your innocent soul. My folks told me so that I am wrong. And yes I was wrong. I overlook the demon side of the world.
In fact my one of the very kind teacher told me that this world is so deceptive while having meeting with her she said that:
“Be who you are my doll. Never let others use you or play with your feelings. Always speak truth and in this way you can attain the love and respect. This world is deceptive and cruel but never let loose of your innocence and you the real you.”
I asked myself what is innocence? I still wander to get the answer of it and yes I got it that like Michael Jackson said:
“And that’s what innocence is. It’s simple and trusting like a child, not judgmental and committed to one narrow point of view. If you are locked into a pattern of thinking and responding, your creativity gets blocked. You miss the freshness and magic of the moment. Learn to be innocent again, and that freshness never fades.”
Those 20 minutes meeting I will never ever forget. Time was well spent. When I left the place I was like a free bird. Because whatever happened to me few days ago just crushed me till to my soul. And I guess she appeared like an angel at right time when my broken self needed the inspiration. May Allah bless her.
While moving towards my car words of Enigma echoed in my mind:
“Don’t care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don’t give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.
That’s not the beginning of the end
That’s the return to yourself
The return to innocence.”
So the crux of the whole experience was being like a free bird. Albert Camus sums up all very well that
“To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others.”