*Fearful Helpless Soul*

Oh my God…!

Why I am so fearful today. I cannot feel the beauty in my soul. Where is my smile where is all the fun. It was the first thought which came in my mind when I woke up in the morning. My mom told me that she heard from news that there had been two bomb blasts, one in the vicinity of the masjid and other near some educational institute.

My smile it was long gone. I was very much afraid to go to university today. Though I am grown up now but still there was some fear. A FEAR…. Fears of losing someone really close…. A fear of defeat…. Fear of being lonely…. How am I going to study today?

My mind and heart were playing games. But still I got up and gave my mom a cheerful good bye hug and kiss and went to university.  Depressive faces, Crying eyes, fearful children. I do not know whether it was me who was thinking like that or it was really happening…..

To be alone hurts

Sun was at the peak showing no mercy. It was blazing hot. To make myself chill I went into the café. As put my foot in the main door. Woops black out.

When I woke up I was so confused. Why the hell everybody is crying? My mind… is it still playing games?  Am I watching any T.V.? Am I going crazy? There were lots of questions which came in my mind suddenly.

As I turned back I saw my mom still wearing the same pink suit in which she was looking pretty but what is this… why she is crying? Why my sister is in shock and why my brother is shouting, crying and yelling on the phone. Oh I think he is talking to dad but why like this?

I walked towards them and shouted loudly what is wrong with you mom. She looked at me giving a stare full of emptiness and turned her head back towards my siblings. I was getting mad now.

My heart as if it is going to sink and my mind was about to burst when I looked at the direction where my sister has pointed her finger.

I then realize that why she ignored me and gave me that bloody desperate stare at first place. There was laying my body covered with blood. Why me why….. What was my mistake?  I shouted but all in vein nobody is going to listen to my pledge. I am a helpless soul now.

I do not want to leave my family, not now.  I realized that my sister she felt my presence I walked towards her again and silently whispered in her ears that take care of yourself and everyone at home.

I think she still believed that I was there as mothers are known as soul of their child.

She looked at me as if she have had heard everything which I had said to her.

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